Story Archive for 05/01/2009
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Column: The BCS Is On Its Last Legs; I Don't Care
Published on May 01, 2009 at 03:18PM
WASHINGTON (AP)—While the BCS has been an upgrade (and I use that term with extreme trepidation) from the previous regime in college football, I am not enraptured with the numerous pratfalls it has caused. While the polls primarily determining the #1 team in the pre-BCS era was akin to being married to Roseanne Bahr, the BCS is like being married to Rosie O’Donnell, who incidentally doesn’t like men. That brings out yet another thing about the BCS: inasmuch as O’Donnell, as a lesbian, doesn’t love men, the BCS does not love college football fans as consistently they’ve given all of us the middle finger and consumed money on their lusts. Thankfully, Congress has become disenchanted with the ludicrous nonsense the BCS permeates and Joe Barton, an excellent politician from Texas (as many of you know my real name is Brad Barton and I served a portion of my mission in Texas, so I feel connected) has thrown his weight into making the lives of those who sustain the BCS a living hell. One of Barton’s agendas is to determine that the BCS is indeed an illegal cartel and violates anti-trust issues brought about by the Sherman Act. Furthermore, Barton plans to make it illegal for the BCS to declare itself as a “national championship” system. My response, to quote the great Craig Bolerjack: YESSSSSS! For those of you who are geniuses, you also know that May Day is a communist holiday often upheld by the old Soviet regime of Eurasia and Barton swiftly called the BCS a communist ideal on the fateful May 1. Of course it is. The fact that a select few own everything in college football in our nation is blaspehemous and an affront to God because the Founding Fathers such as Washington and Jefferson gave their blood, sweat and tears in the hope that this nation would be free, with all citizens having the right to liberty and the pursuit of happiness among other things. Undobutedly, happiness is most often found when all partake of the bounty of all kinds to be found in our great nation. Therefore, to exclude worthy members of any faction of American society from obtaining a great prize, is unAmerican. Thus, I say that BCS commissioner John Swofford is a fraud, charlatan and a Gadianton robber for he and his cronies have cheated and slighted the likes of Utah and Boise State in recent seasons from obtaining what is rightfully theirs. Remember that in the Book of Mormon, one of the Gadiantons’ traits was to obtain great power, whether it be praise of the world or riches, so that they might be greater than those around them and OVERTHROW THE NATION. While I disagree with President Obama on many issues, I agree wholeheartedly with him that college football must be rectified. While scouring various sites online this morning, such as cnn.com and espn.com, the majority of posters think the BCS must be abolished so a playoff can come to pass. It is not only illegal (which will be proven) to exclude worthy teams that do not belong to so-called “power conferences,” it is unethical and takes us back, as a society, to the 1800s where slavery was permissible. Looking back at those times when reading my history books, I’m appalled that such things took place. If we are in such an age of enlightenment as our technological advancements suggest, why is it that we rely on such an archaic way to determine a college football champion? That’s embarrassing, so hopefully the efforts of Barton and Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff will net us the results we need as the BCS is torn apart and a playoff is established.
Ogden man injured on US-89
Published on May 01, 2009 at 11:35AM
(MARYSVALE) – An Ogden man sustained injuries on SR-89 north of Marysvale Thursday afternoon in a single vehicle rollover. A Utah Highway Patrol report said that at about 3:30pm, 49-year old, Doug Cower, was traveling at a high rate of speed southbound and failed to negotiate a turn and rolled down an embankment. The report said that when UHP arrived, Cower’s 2008 Ford Mustang was running but he was not at the scene. UHP Troopers discovered Cower had caught a ride to Richfield and found him injured and intoxicated. He was taken to the Sevier Valley Medical Center with a head injury and then booked into jail
Fire agency announces planned burn
Published on May 01, 2009 at 08:03AM
(FILLMORE) – The BLM Field Office in Fillmore is announcing a planned burn from today through May 15. Fire personnel say the Grabalt Project is a joint burn of 1600 acres between the Fillmore Field Office and Fillmore Ranger District on the Fishlake National Forest. Fire crews will be working the burn for two weeks approximately two miles south of Scipio. Last fall, the BLM and Forest Service were able to complete 700 acres with the objective of reducing the risk of catastrophic wildfire. Crews will be burning slash piles of juniper and pinyon trees as well as sagebrush.
Snow College receives business accreditation
Published on May 01, 2009 at 07:38AM
(EPHRAIM) – The Snow College Business Division is pleased to announce that the Business Management, Technology and Administration programs have recently been awarded full accreditation by the Association of Collegiate Business Schools and Programs. Doug Dyreng, Chair of the Business Division, says this accreditation makes Snow College one of the select few two-year business programs in the country to be accredited and is additional evidence that Snow is one of the best two-year institutions in the nation. Dyreng said that after receiving the 85-page application, the ACBSP team visited Snow College-Ephraim and Richfield to conduct an in-depth review and verification of the application. ACBSP is the premier accrediting association for business schools and programs with a focus on teaching excellence and is the only accrediting body to offer accreditation to associate degree institutions.
Snow set for graduation ceremonies
Published on May 01, 2009 at 06:48AM
(RICHFIELD) – Snow College-Richfield will hold graduation ceremonies today at the Sevier Valley Center in Richfield. Graduation will be held at 1pm in the SVC Theatre featuring keynote speaker, Rick White, who is the former Vice-President of Snow College-Richfield. White is currently the President of the Utah College of Applied Technologies. Snow College-Ephraim is also set to hand out 570 degrees and diplomas to students in graduation ceremonies Saturday at 10am on the Ephraim campus at the Activities Center. Laurie Carter, a Julliard School of Music executive, will be the keynote speaker.
Bulls Down Celts; Game 7 Awaits in Boston
Published on May 01, 2009 at 12:31AM
Updated on May 01, 2009 at 06:43AM
CHICAGO (AP)—John Salmons had 35 points and six rebounds, while Derrick Rose and Brad Miller each made big plays down the stretch as the Chicago Bulls forced a Game 7 in their series against the Boston Celtics with a 128-127 win Thursday at United Center. The series, which has seen 106 lead changes and 65 ties as well as five games that have gone into overtime, according to E.J.’s Neat-O-Stat of the Night on TNT’s critically-acclaimed Inside The NBA, has been called one of the greatest NBA playoff series of all time and this game failed to disappoint. In regulation, it appeared that the Celtics would close out the series as they held a 98-91 lead with under four minutes left. Nevertheless, five quick points by Miller (23 points, 10 rebounds) forced overtime with things deadlocked at 101-101 and as the game ensued, the Celtics, despite Ray Allen’s magnificence (51 points, a Celtics-record nine 3-pointers) fell prey to attrition as Paul Pierce and Glen Davis both fouled out. Meanwhile, Rose, the Rookie of the Year in the NBA made the play of the game in triple overtime as with the Bulls holding a 128-127 lead, he blocked Rajon Rondo’s go-ahead shot attempt and Chicago managed to hold on. The series will return to Boston for Game 7 Saturday while the winner will face the Orlando Magic, a 114-99 victor over Philadelphia, in the Eastern Conference semifinals. In other NBA action Thursday, Houston advanced to the Western Conference semifinals to face the Los Angeles Lakers with a 92-76 win over Portland.